Hot Air Balloons

I feel as though these "updates" are becoming monotonous, but I guess I will post another...

My mom is no longer able to walk to the bathroom and shower. She is very confused and often gets angry. I think her anger and frustration is more at herself than other people but she doesn't know how to express herself. Her strong mind is trapped in a haze of pain medication. It is sometimes easier to just agree with her than try and explain things. It is hard to see my mother this way, but the digression has been slow and for that, we are lucky.

I was lying in bed this morning thinking about how she used to be. She would feel horrible from chemo, have pain in her abdomen and be hurting from radiation and she would still go to school to teach her 7th graders. She was (and still is) determined. She did not slow down until about 5 days ago. She never wanted to be this way. Her confused "self" is not her. It brings me peace to know that when she passes, she will be whole again and this is how she would want things to be.

Olivia asked me a question on Friday that was cute, but really got me thinking. She asked me how God was going to get Nana and take her to Heaven. I told her that I wasn't sure about the "how" but when it was time, God would come and pick her up and safely get her to her destination. She said "Do you think he will come in a hot air balloon?"

I didn't even know that she was aware of hot air balloons, but the more I think about it...the more I like the idea. Maybe there is a divine hot air balloon that picks up God's children and carries them to their Father. Seeing God's grace through the eyes of a 3-year old is AMAZING!

I have already typed too much. Please forgive my misspellings, grammatical errors, and misplaced words, it is early and I am tired.

Happy Tuesday