Are You Sleeping?

I have heard that question a lot in the last few weeks. When Olivia was born, I remember crying and asking my mother if I would ever really sleep again. I can remember some long nights with "O," though she was never very colicky.

Amanda, on the other hand, seems to have quite a bit of colic-like discomfort. She sleeps for long periods some nights and then can't seem to sleep at all on other nights. I am usually the one up with her because Adam has to work. I know he would get up and help me if I asked him, but I also know it's important for him to sleep and I can handle it.

The thing is, the not sleeping is okay. I don't know why it's different this time. I am not sure if it's the second baby thing and knowing what to expect or if it was the seemingly easier c-section recovery?

My other thought goes something like this...I got pregnant with Olivia immediately upon wishing for a baby. I was lucky, but somewhat naive. I had no idea how hard it was going to be. This time around I endured months of trying and disappointment, fertility treatments, and a miscarriage before conceiving and carrying Amanda. I think enduring all of that taught me more about patience than anything else. Now when she cries and I am up at night feeling so tired, I look at her and think of what it took to get me to this place. She is completely worth it, as are the sleepless nights!

**Forgive my errors. After all, I am writing on just a few hours of sleep! Wink! Wink!